The Identity Crisis & The Perfect Disequilibrium

There’s a question in your mind. You want to know who I am. But how can I tell you who I am when I don’t know who I am, and I bet  you don’t know who you are either. We believe in a reflection called a mirror. But is there a mirror or a glass to see how others really see you. Because maybe they know you better than you know yourself. Or maybe not, because we hardly portray who we are to the world.

But then how can we ever see who we really are? Aren’t we an ever changing sphere, rotating in different axes trying to achieve the perfect balance. The equilibrium that we can call home. I used to be that way too. But each axis I stepped onto was lopsided and crooked and I kept losing whatever balance I was trying to gain. That’s when I realized that this was an absolute fucking joke. This life we value. This life we strive so hard to achieve and succeed. There is no end, only a never ending journey. And the balance, it doesn’t exist. It never did. Everything is broken in some way, every body is cracked in their own way.. and perfection may only be in the stars above, which we’ll never reach (at least not in this lifetime). But we can’t be certain of this.

So why fucking search for this non-existent balance, this myth. Why not be satisfied with the perfect disequilibrium that we are. Why not? It’s fun. Being cracked, being broken. If I was not broken, in anyway I doubt that I’ll be writing this. Why do I need to? Perfection needs nothing. It already has everything it needs. If I was perfect, I wouldn’t need you. I wouldn’t need all the things I have. I would need nothing. I could be nothing. For I am perfect.

To be nothing.. what does that sound like?

It sounds easy. Convince yourself, call it reverse engineering to reach perfection. Achieve the perfect disequilibrium to reach the goal of being nothing. If you are already nothing, then you achieved. Maybe that was the point all along. Learn to let go. Of everything. Because the end of a chapter is always looming, and there’s is no point after that because you have to assume a different identity in the next chapter. So maybe letting go is what we should be doing? Being nothing. Losing all sense and hope that we have.

Just.. letting.. go.

Wouldn’t you feel free?

Would you like to try?


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